Reply to I don't want to be under pressure when my DH isn't

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[quote=Anonymous]Wow. I feel sorry for you, OP, I really do. As another PP stated, there is no good solution for you--your husband is not likely to get a more stressful job, divorce isn't going to be happy for the children and won't generate more income, and you won't be happy if you take any kind of pay cut. I know you cherish your relationship with your children, but the anger and seething resentment that you have toward their father is deeply harmful to them.

I think that you should not discount therapy, which might help you to unpack some of your anger and feelings about money. A very good friend of mine had a ton of anxiety about money to the point where it was impacting her marriage. For example, they would agree on a budget for home renovations, set aside the money, hire the contractor, and then she would panic and cancel the contractor because she felt so anxious. She just couldn't stop worrying that something would go wrong and they would need that money, even though they had 2 stable jobs and plenty of savings. Therapy helped her to understand what represented for her (security, love) and she was able to have a more healthy relationship with it. The money wasn't going to ever fill the holes that she wanted it to; she is so much happier now that she is working on building the relationships and trust that create real feelings of security.
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