Reply to I don't want to be under pressure when my DH isn't

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Lol you're a morin. Ask your kids what they would prefer.... You to pay for their wedding and a house but you get divorced and are still miserable. OR you don't provide those things but get a less stressful job and don't completely ruin their lives with a divorce.

I'm with your DH. It seems like you guys could still have a nice life if you took a lower stress job.   It's not like he's forcing you to stay in your job. I also don't get why you married him. [/quote]

Because he is handsome and funny, and when I expressed reservations to friends or family about his earning potential everyone called me shallow. The people calling me shallow are all married to high earners, btw.  I was dumb not to level with myself about my values. Huge, life ruining mistake. [/quote]

It was not the place of your family and friends to talk you out of this marriage.  You need to own your choices.[/quote]

What part of me acknowledging I made a huge, life ruining mistake not owning my choices? Giving context is not shirking accountability.[/quote]

Holy smokes.  You married a good man with a decent job, and you have continually referred to the fact that he is satisfied with a comfortable life and does not need to earn big bucks as "ruining your life."

Do you really not understand how that makes people (rational people, anyway) see you?  [/quote]

I really do not care how other people see me, and you are misusing “rational.” 
What you really mean is “moral.”

You believe that I am immoral because I value working hard and trying to maximize earnings to have nice things and give opportunities to my children. That’s fine. You can judge my values all you want, but I have examined them at length and attempting to change or deny them has not worked for me thus far. That is how I ended up married to DH!

I might be able to live with DH if he also didn’t mock my priorities. A LOT of people share them, by the way. Whether they openly admit it to themselves or others or not.[/quote]

I share your priorities OP.  You are wise, and your children will thank you one day.  My children will have a huge leg up in life via college paid for, down payment, etc.  As America disintegrates, these things will be more and more important like they have been historically.  We'll see the era where "it would all work out" (1950s-2008ish) as an anomaly and planning and preserving wealth will be key to any opportunities.  Sorry but that's my worldview and I'm grateful that my husband agrees and we generally march together toward a goal of enjoying the present while providing for the uncertain future.  I don't know what I would do in your shoes as divorce is its own type of financial train wreck.[/quote]

Bit OP is not a striver or hard-working or ambitious for her own career. She says she wants to take three vacations without getting side-eye, wants to downshift, wants a low stress job like her DH. What OP is is materialistic and superficial. She wants the life of privilege (which it seems she had in her childhood), but she doesn't want to work for it. She's mad that she didn't marry someone who wants that life or the work that comes with it. [/quote]

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