Reply to If all your siblings went on vacation without you, would you be hurt?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I don’t get what you mean “from family dynamics” you will be watching her kids. If you tell her in advance that this trip is special, you’ve been planning for it for years, and you’re looking forward to being out on the slopes all day, then won’t she understand that you’re not going to be the babysitter?[/quote]

History says she will not.[/quote]

Is this OP? I was coming around to thinking you weren't  horrible based on your update but your seeming bitterness at being denied a trip with the extra sister and refusal to accept the great fun happy trip you have planned makes me think you are resentful of the excluded sister and the anger she would feel would be not just natural but correctly reading the lie of the land on the intentions. [/quote]

My youngest sister and I are close.  She's 17 years younger than me, and my mom died when she was in high school, so I helped raise her and we're close, and I missed her during the first 15 months of the pandemic.  So, the idea of taking a trip to do something we love together sounds nice.  And budgetwise, she's probably not going to be able to take a real ski vacation for a long time, so the fact that we could pay less than $1,000 and add both of them to the trip is tempting.

I get that it seems unfair to leave just one sister behind, but it also seems unfair to leave this sister behind because that sister has a new baby.  New babies are wonderful things.  But sometimes the trade off of having one is that in the first couple years you don't get to do the things you did before.

I'll also say that I've done a lot this pandemic for the sister with the four kids.  I don't resent that.  That's what family does, and I love her, and I love her kids.  But one of the reasons why I know her kids will expect me to be doing stuff for them on this trip, is that they're used to me doing stuff for them.  [/quote]
Is sister with the 4 kids aware of the ski trip you are planning with 1 other sister? If she’s already aware of the original plan I would go to her and say that you plan on inviting your youngest sister and her new wife as a wedding gift to them and you wanted her to hear it from you because you didnt want her to be hurt. If you really want to invite your youngest sister you have to be an adult and talk to left out sister about it head on. I find all your reasons legit but you also still have to address it with left out sister.[/quote]

She's aware we've talked about it. She's not aware that we found a house and put a deposit.  That just happened, a few hours before I made the post.

Obviously I would talk to everyone.[/quote]

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