Reply to I will never understand why nice couples with children get divorced out of nowhere

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote] I just don’t get this. Wouldn’t you rather tell people the truth rather than they think it was your fault or you just gave up on your marriage? [/quote]

Who cares what they think? [/quote]

Well they do clearly. I was responding to the posters who claim that they are vague about the reason for fear of being judged/blamed. If I know your husband cheated, then I blame him. If you say “we drifted apart” then I blame you both. [/quote]

If you “blame” anybody without, you know, actual information, that’s being kinda stupid.[/quote]

I don’t blame anyone and I wouldn’t expect anybody to share. In fact I assume that it’s just general incompatibility because I made it a rule for myself to assume the best unless shown otherwise.

But I think if I got divorced because DH cheated or whatever I would tell people. Not write a Facebook post about it or share it with acquaintances (because I’m also not into dumping my problems on others), but I wouldn’t be super careful with who I told either.

But I have never been in that situation so maybe I would be closed off about it. 
  [/quote]

Yeah, it's easy to say that you'd want people to know it "wasn't your fault," but telling people that your husband was unfaithful can be hard.  They might blame you anyway -- for being a bad wife, for "letting yourself go," or whatever.  So you get blamed anyway, and everyone knows your husband cheated.  And some people are just not the sort to air their dirty laundry, or they are trying to keep things quiet because they have kids, etc.  [/quote]

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