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[quote=Anonymous]OP - have you considered whether the stress/pressure from HS to get into the Ivy (and perhaps the striver classmates at the Ivy) has led your DC to find friends that are more low key to preserve their mental health? It sounds like you are only adding to that stress - especially if DC has been at home during the pandemic.  Some people strive on stress and achievement but others don't.

Another thing to consider is maturity.  Not everyone has maturity to fully take advantage of college opportunities, even if they very bright. I know more than a handful of people who have told the story of slacking (whether that be HS or college) and then woke up to realize their slacking had a consequence. Then...with that maturity, they had the skills from a good education (along with their own intelligence) to take steps to kick into gear and take charge of their future. But the key is that they did it themselves, not because of pressure from parents. And they did something THEY wanted to do, not something defined by someone else.

In the end, you need your DC to be an independent adult who can support themselves and be mentally healthy.

It seems like they are doing just fine academically.  It may not be top of class but is not bad either. (And this may just be their level when compared to college classmates vs their HS classmates).  And 50 applications sounds like they put in a big effort.

There us much to be learned as a counselor in terms of personal skills and leadership skills.  And it's probably a very nice dose of mental health to be outside in the sun with people all day.

If I were you - I think my primary concern here would be whether your child is participating in drug/alcohol use that could eventually lead to addiction issues.  I can't tell from your posts whether that's a potential issue.

Try to take a step back and let them grow up without you over their shoulder.

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