Reply to Is it selfish to move abroad for good when you're an only child?

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "Is it selfish to move abroad for good when you're an only child?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]It’s not selfish to move abroad if you’re an only child.  I’m an only child who grew up in a place I hated and moved away the first chance I got.  My only surviving parent lives in a different city now and talks this place up hoping DH and I will move there.  It’s not going to happen.

When my mom died last year, I got a close up look at the weird family dynamics between my parents and their contemporaries.  Aunts and uncles who hated my mom reached out to my dad and were a big support to him.  Aunts and uncles on my mom’s side who I have fond memories of as a child didn’t call my dad or me once they got the news.

Bottom line is this:  
1) you can’t count on people (family or neighbor) to provide care/support/services for your family if you can’t.  You have to hire help or get systems in place like transportation or meals that are reliable.  
2) A lot of families just aren’t that close, despite how they may project themselves to be.  My ILs talk a big game about FAAAAMMMILYYY, but they get resentful if any family member asks them for anything.  But, they will put on a big show by volunteering for charities or donating money so people think they are very giving people.  
3) don’t take your frustrations out on your relatives.  They’ve got their own lives to live and may not have the bandwidth to help your dad.  What seems frivolous to you may be important to them.  And they have a right to spend their time however they wish.

Stop feeling guilty about living abroad and being angry at your relatives.

[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics