Reply to Strange Inheritance Situation

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Strange Inheritance Situation - Need Perspective"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't know what advice to give, op. All I can say it to be gracious and polite and understanding. That might go a long way to create goodwill on the step FIL's bio kids.
I am not saying give them the money, but[b] ask yourself how would you feel in their shoes[/b]. Their side of the story is likely very, very different from the version you got.
In any situation, I find that starting from a point of view that is generous, accepting and gracious, is the best course of action. That doesn't mean that they will act the same, but at the end of the day when you go to bed, what will make you sleep without any regrets?[/quote]

Yes, but that only gets you so far given that we already know how [b]they[/b] chose to act. If I were completely blindsided by being disinherited, I would be hurt, and angry at the person who disinherited me. (That's a big if, here, because at least on OP's understanding these kids knew they weren't close to the father -- they didn't send flowers or show up at his funeral!) So how would I respond in that situation? I might meditate, complain to my spouse, complain to my therapist, punch a pillow. What I would [b]not[/b] do is harass the mother of the step-siblings who got a windfall. But that's what these crazies are doing to the poor OP.

I mean, seriously, if they showed up and physically assaulted OP, would we be saying, "put yourself in their shoes"?[/quote]

+1. There are a ton of bizarrely angry, entitled people on this thread.[b] I don't have the faintest idea how my parents, grandparents, or ILs plan to leave their money and I don't care. I won't care if I get nothing and I won't care if it all goes to someone else. I[/b]n fact, I've told my parents to leave what they have (which isn't a huge estate by any means) to my sibling because they need it more. My plan has always been to take care of myself. There are literally zero circumstances under which I would be harassing my estranged father's widow and her kid because I was angry that my estranged father decided to leave his money to his grandkids. This behavior is trash and the fact that so many of you seem to sympathize with it is disturbing.[/quote]

OK, this is is bizarre on its own way. Or perhaps you have so much that you don't care. [/quote]

Why do you find this bizarre? My parents will probably die without a ton of money and my ILs will probably die with a lot of money, but in both cases it hopefully/likely won't happen until I'm in my 50s or older (I'm 38 now and they're in their 60s/70s). I keep my own financial house in order and am planning for my own retirement and end of life care. I don't need anyone else's money and what they decide to do with their money and stuff after death is their affair, not mine. I find it odd that so many people take this so personally.[/quote]

really? being disinherited by your parent as a final f-you is kind of a big deal. I’m resigned to it personally, but it’s still really messed up. and no, I haven’t done anything to deserve it. the only upside is that knowing I’m disinherited removes any residual thread of guilt or obligation. [/quote]

yeah, this is just so ridiculous. two things can both be true 1) parents have the right to do what they want with their money; one needs to keep his own life in order etc 2) [b]parents are total assholes if they frivolously spend their money[/b] or unjustly divide their assets. [/quote]

Wait... what??

Parents are assholes if they frivolously spend their money??
It's THEIR money, they can do whatever they wish to do with their money.  
They earned it, it's theirs to do with as they please.

The entitlement to other people's money on this thread is astonishing & should be embarrassing. 
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics