Reply to Advice Needed: parents who both work long hours

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m so irritated that everyone keeps blaming op for her job. She has reasonable hours and good salary for Law. She doesn’t need to mommy track anymore than she already has.

The problem is that her husband is working crazy hours. He needs to take more of a break in the evenings and help out more. OP is not the problem. And they need tips for how to outsource more. That’s really what Op was asking. She does not need to mommy track more.[/quote]

no, it is her job because she’s the one complaining. her husband, correctly, thinks that since they earn 750k HHI he doesn’t need to come home for dinner. Someone else will handle it. That person can be OP or it can be a housekeeper or au pair. Very, very few people earning 500k are going to drop everything to do dishes and bedtime from 6-9 every night. Her choice. Leaving aside her DH, I think any job that makes you regularly work several hours after your young kids’ bedtime is unsustainable. [/quote]

Wife of the big law partner here: my husband does dinner and bedtime with the kids every night. I clean while he does bath and stories. From 5:30-7 he is 100% with the kids. It's definitely possible. Her husband needs to pitch in more. [/quote]

that’s great but not the case for all partners (and what about all the years trying to make partner?) Especially if there are clients in different time zones. And sorry, it still sounds miserable that the only family time is 1.5 hrs every night while you clean then he gets back on the phone. Miserable life, prioritizing money over all else. [/quote]
Actually that is the case for all partners because the point of becoming partner is having more control over your schedule. 
And if a parent works 9-5, has a 30 minute commute and kids go to bed at 7 how is that parent spending more time with their kids that this parent? The difference is working after bedtime. Very few people have the mental fortitude to do that (sounds like you included) which is why so few people make partner. [/quote]

It’s very rare. Partners serve the clients, and the type of people who grind their way to partner are generally the types to put work above all else. [/quote]

You really have no idea what you're talking about. [/quote]

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