Reply to Something I don't understand about criticism of big families

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]Rates of unanticipated pregnancy while using condoms properly aren't really all that different from the rates using rhythm method properly, so why is one method of trying to avoid pregnancy better than another?[/quote]

I've just tried to explain why contraception is wrong.  It denies God His creative design for human life.  It takes a good (fertility) and says it is not good.  It makes the mutual self-giving of man and woman a lie (I love you, I embrace all of you...except for your fertility?).  It has negative consequences for society.

Say you have two couples, and neither want babies.  One uses condoms, the other NFP, to achieve this goal.  What's the difference?

Well, what if you asked the couples to switch methods.  Violent objections would probably come from the condom couple.  There would be two fears.  First, what about effectiveness?  No need to fear--modern methods of NFP are extremely effective.  The second fear would be far more significant:  periodic ABSTINENCE?!?!

Why is that so frightening to people?  What does a week without sex really mean?  What does it say about your relationship?  What does it say about sex?  What does it say about your intimacy?  What does it say about a man's respect for a woman, and her fertility?  What is her value to him?  How crazy is it, that both the man and the woman are mutually responsible for avoiding pregnancy?  How much communication is required to commit to this method?  How close do two people need to be, to be able to be chaste within marriage?

But that brings us back to the objective of contraception and NFP:  avoiding pregnancy.  Why are they not morally interchangeable?

NFP respects the full meaning of sex.  Contraception does not.  Just like an excellent diet can have all in due time, contrasted to bulimia, which engages in the act of eating, then violates it--indulges in the pleasure, negates the consequences.  And destroys the health of the person engaging in that violation of the nature of eating.  NFP treats a woman's fertility as sacred ground.  Contraception attacks fertility.  The end does not justify the means.

When utilizing the natural cycle of fertility and infertility as a way to time sex, every act of sex is "open to life."  That is why Catholics speak of being "open to children."  They may be using NFP, but in so doing, they leave God as the author of sex and life, and respect His design and His will.

I'd like to end on a slightly different note:  being "open to children" is not a free pass, as many PPs seem to have indicated.  Respecting the unitive and procreative aspects of the nature of sex every. single. time. a couple makes love is just the beginning.  Living God's design for sex requires virtue from every angle.  From self-control to selflessness to tenderness to respect to kindness to generosity to patience to self-giving to forbearance to wisdom to prudence to LOVE...love for your spouse, love for the children you have, love for the children you might yet have, and love for your Creator.  Any failure of virtue on the part of either spouse will need to be answered for, the consequences suffered.

The families who are trying their best to live this teaching of the Church are way too busy with the responsibilities of their lives to have any time left over to judge other families' hearts.  And when a couple indulges in that kind of judgment, they are hurting themselves more than anyone else, because that sin drags them down.

There was a recent article in Crisis Magazine that sparked a lot of conversation in my family, because it was about this kind of judgmental behavior.  It states the differences between NFP and contraception very well:

http://www.crisismagazine.com/2011/nfp-the-myth-of-the-%E2%80%9Ccontraceptive-mentality%E2%80%9D

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