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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am turning a big 4-0 this summer. I don't like huge birthday parties, I am an introvert, which is known to everyone or so I thought. I wanted a quiet getaway with just DH and our 2 DCs. Lo' and behold, MIL let it slip that she and DH' siblings plan to rent a HOUSE (!) for the week of my birthday so that we can celebrate it as a family. That'll be 20 people in one, albeit big, house. This is absolutely not what I want to do and I cannot get through to anyone. MIL is getting all offended, DH's sisters said they ALREADY booked tickets. They are nice people but I don't care to spend a week with them. I can tolerate them for a few hours but I don't need them around me all week. It is my birthday and I want to spend it the way I WANT. DH thinks this sounds "childish" and "selfish" and that his family is going out of their way to be with me on this day. They apparently think I will feel lonely, which I won't. How can I get through to these people? Shouldn't a person be able to have a voice as to how he wants to spend his own birthday?[/quote] LOL. The text above reads more like it was written by a 16 year old than a 40 year old. Seriously? This sounds incredibly childish. Think long term. Is it worth damaging any future family relationships over your behavior here? Just be gracious, smile and say thank you. All lessons that some of us missed in elementary school. You can do your low key celebration the week before. Pretend like you care about DH and his family. It's hard but helps keep a marriage whole. Yeah, I know....but what about me, me, me, the posters sing in chorus. [/quote] Really? I think there must be some trolls on here. I can’t believe anyone would happily not only give up their vacation but also burn through their PTO for this. She’s had a stressful year and was looking forward to taking a vacation. Her husband canceled it. You’d just smile and say “Thanks honey!” [/quote] Jesus, she's not the only person on this planet who has had a stressful year. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US HAS. Her DH has had a stressful year. DH's family has had a stressful year. Their neighbors have had a stressful year. What is so egregious here is how unaccommodating OP is. [b]Sometimes we give and take. If OP's family had planned a visit, she would beg and plead with her DH to come along for the ride, be friendly and do all the things that she wanted him to do. [/b]But in the reverse situation, she cannot offer any level of grace - particularly not one becoming of a 40 yr old woman. I have no idea how marriages survive when spouses cannot show a modicum of respect for the people that their DH/DW love in this world. It's unreal. In adult world, OP would meet her DH half way on this. She would recognize that his family tried (but may have failed) to do something nice for them. She'd meet them halfway recognizing that they did not act maliciously. This is a vacation. She can go for a few days, be nice to the family that she likely hasn't seen and, more importantly, her DH also hasn't seen. No wonder marriages and in-law relationships end so badly. Good luck with that marriage, OP. [/quote] Yeah. How many men do you know who spend their birthday going on a week long trip with his mother in law? Oh yeah, and zero of his friends or family can come. That sounds insane right? [/quote] How old are you people? I'm not married to a blathering frat boy so I know one, yeah. DH takes trips with my family all the time, and I take trips to visit his overseas. [/quote] Way to avoid the question! Your DH cancels his vacation to spend his birthday week with your family? Really? That’s happened? [/quote]
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