Reply to Can you have a successful sexless marriage?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This thread (and my own marriage) does make me wonder why open relationships aren't more common (maybe they are and I live in a bubble)? I love my husband, we have sex 1-2 times per week, but knowing exactly what's going to happen really takes the spice out of it. We try to mix it up from time to time but admittedly it's good, not amazing, most of the time. I don't remember if it was this thread or another but someone mentioned wanting a marriage sabbatical and that would truly be my dream. I love my husband, he is a wonderful partner, but I just want to mix it up with something hot and new without messing up our otherwise great life together (and I want that for him too). Do most open marriages fail/turn into a mess? Why aren't they more common?[/quote]

I'm in an open marriage. I don't know how common they are, but probably more so than you'd think. There is so much stigma around non-monogamy even when it's practiced ethically (just look at all the judgment and condemnation of open marriages on this board, not to mention the "won't somebody please think of the children????" hysteria) that many (most?) of us are just not willing to face the consequences of "coming out." Honestly, navigating ethical non-monogamy is really difficult emotionally and logistically, so I'm sure it's true that open marriages are more likely than monogamous marriages to fail/turn into a mess. The biggest mistake people make is opening the marriage in order to fix something. If your relationship is not in great shape to begin with, ethical non-monogamy will only make it worse. You have to start from a strong foundation. [/quote]

+1[/quote]

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