Reply to Can you have a successful sexless marriage?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When women blame men for loss of their libido it's the same as men with ED blaming their wives.

It's physical, it's almost never their partners fault. [/quote]

Sometimes, but so much of sex for women is mental. Women don't experience sex the same way men do. I'm surprised that so many hetero married men don't know that. [/quote]

And why oh why do these threads never discuss responsive desire??
For the record- my friends who don't want to have sex with thier husbands...their husbands are jerks who take them for granted 
https://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/27/opinion/nothing-is-wrong-with-your-sex-drive.html[/quote]

How old are you? I am mid 40s and none of my girlfriends want to have sex with their husbands. They aren't bad men. They are just too familiar, like family. They can't change that. But sure, if my DH was a jerk to me I wouldn't let him have sex with me. [/quote]

Yes!  This describes me.  My husband is a good guy.  We've been together for 20 years.  I no longer have any romantic desire for him at all.  I don't want to dismantle our household.  We Co-Parent okay and we still get along.  We have similar outlooks on money and politics.  I would much prefer we both outsource sex to other partners.  If one of us falls in love, we'd have to pivot in some way, but I'm willing to take that chance.[/quote]

I like the honesty and realism here.

The one thing I'd point out though is that as a single, I meet a lot of men (and couples) who want to "outsource sex" but don't want to split up, and it's not the best. Many couples are realistic and honest about their sex lives, they open their marriage, or they have a don't ask/don't tell agreement or, in some cases, they seek out a third (usually a woman) together. [b]I have been approached by countless couples who want a threesome [/b]or a "throuple", or want to take me out on a date. Both of of them. A couple dating a single. I'm a straight woman. I don't want to have sex with another woman. I don't want to have sex with a married man. I don't want to date or have sex with a couple. I'm looking for exactly what they were looking for, and happened to find before I did. So, I do feel some bitterness toward couples who want to enjoy the benefits of marriage while "outsourcing" sex. It feels like they want me to spice up their sex life so that they can continue to enjoy social and emotional privileges that I don't have. Of course, I can just say no, and I do. And as long as the couple is upfront, people can do or not do what they want. Just another perspective from someone out there in the dating market. [/quote]

Do tell. Where do you hang out where "countless" couples want a threesome? When the pandemic is over I want to go there!
--Horny guy in sexless marriage.[/quote]

Guy here.  This is called, Unicorn hunting where she is the prospective unicorn.  You know, that creature that doesn't really exist, except in some man's fantasy.  I could drop some links where you can find these ads, although they are all over any dating site.  They make me laugh. Here is what you find.  Instead of a man's profile, or a woman, it's a couples profile and the "couple" are posting, looking for the unicorn.  That woman who will come over, entertain them in bed and then leave.  Or sometimes, it's the man asking from his own profile.  But it's almost never a woman asking for another woman to join them.  I suspect that 90% of the couples profiles are also really just run by the man.  Few wives are really going along with this but it's certainly a thing with a select few.  That said, if she's really interested in getting with another woman, her hairy assed, horney husband isn't going to add anything to the experience for her.

As for you-a man-being the unicorn for another couple?  You better be OK with pleasing the other man for her enjoyment or it's probably not happening.  Good luck my hungry friend.[/quote]

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