Reply to I overstepped. What now?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "I overstepped. What now? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You will be the in-law from hell if you start saying you want to add more guests (even if offering to pay). Don’t ruin your child’s future life. Apologize to your friends for YOUR mistake and then learn to take a back seat. [/quote]

No.  You cannot add to the guest list.  Just tell ALL couples you are not sure if they will be invited and you made a mistake.  [/quote]

Oh GOOD GRIEF. For some reason people on DCUM think that brides and grooms are made of glass or something. Just have a conversation with your son. You don't have to say "I already invited people." Just say, "I was thinking about which 5 couples we could invite, and there are really 7 couples who we'd like to include. Would it be possible to have 4 more people?" I mean, FFS. Is it really such a huge, dramatic imposition to have a conversation with one's own child? If he says no, then take no for an answer and don't bring it up again. But maybe the answer will be yes, who knows. And then problem solved.

I really don't understand how people who are in a family cannot just have a simple conversation. [/quote]

If they wanted 14 of your friends there then they would have said that you should invite 14, not setting a limit on 10. Do you think the son doesn't know that his mother has 14 people she'd want there? If he doesn't know that then they aren't in his life and they shouldn't be there. And if he does know that then he didn't invite them for a reason, and the limit is 10.

Asking is what you do when you don't know the answer. Like they say to invite a few couples and you aren't sure how many a few is. But when they give a specific number, asking is what you do when you're pressuring them to change their own wedding to be centered around you and what you want, and that's really bad.[/quote]

Come on! We all know people like OP. If her son had set a limit of 7 couples, she would have had 10 incredibly close friends who she felt compelled to invite. She’s trying to live by the old adage that it’s better to ask forgiveness than to ask for permission.

How her son responds is going to be telling for future relations.

OP is missing the forest for the trees. She’s focused on getting her way and railroading her son abd DIL over the wedding guest list. Her DIL will learn to be more guarded and protective of her boundaries around her new MIL. Anytime there is any chance of future oversteps — OP will not get the benefit of the doubt. The more times you try to be sneaky and pushy and override their choices, the fewer invitations you will receive. [/quote]

yep 100%. And then OP will be back on here posting about how her DIL never lets her see her grandchildren, won't allow sleepovers, etc. You're making your bed, OP. Quit saying you know did something wrong and in the same breath trying to figure out a way to get precisely what you want, [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics