Reply to I definitely said a lot of racist & problematic things in the 90s

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Reply to "I definitely said a lot of racist & problematic things in the 90s"

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[quote=Anonymous]

Think about the words you have used above-- "People who hate being called out on their shitty behavior are [b]crying about cancel culture rather than actually changing.[/b]  You are so right. So if  you really want people to change, maybe there is a different way to get to these people. Yes, people need to recognize that their beliefs, behaviors, values are racist. But the way this is being done now is[b] destructive rather than bridge building. [/b]If  people really want the change they are now shouting about, they must figure out a way to do this without antagonizing others. Yes. I recognize that racism antagonizes people so way should we tiptoe around the racists? I am not necessarily advocating for tiptoeing, however, I am stressing the need to go about changing people in a way that will make people [b][u]WANT[/u][/b] to change. A lot of racist people are very dense; they don't want to listen; they feel entrenched in their beliefs, etc. Accusations, confrontations, toughness is not the way to get through to people. Look at all the people publicly apologizing... do you think that most are apologizing because they really mean it--- It appears to me that they are apologizing because if they don't, they will lose their livelihoods. So really, the only thing we are accomplishing is getting people to issue fake apologies rather than truly changing the way people think. Talk is cheap. I remember reading about a member of the controversial Westoboro Baptist Church that would demonstrate against gays in the military, among other things. I don't remember the exact details, but someone kindly reached out to one of the members and engaged in dialogue with that member. Eventually the member left the church because she developed a meaningful relationship with the person who reached out to her and came to truly believe that what the Church was doing was wrong. She learned that the people she demonstrated against were real human beings with feelings and value. Kind, honest and compassionate dialogue is what works. There is a double standard, however, if we really want to eradicate racism, we need to use effective means to do that. Accusations, blame, discrimination, name calling... these are not effective methods for winning people over to your side. [/quote]

hmm- this is a competitive world, all the plum spots used to be automatically given to white men, there aren't enough "good' jobs, seats at "good" universities, seats in the boardroom, partnerships for everyone who is smart and capable to get one, so the perfect, spotless person who never said anything questionable, never had a stress day, always did everything right- they will win the spot. Before there were more spots available to whites  b/c our racial hierarchy went unchallenged, the truth is, you don't hav any wiggle room, some who presents as less problematic than you in whichever way is ready to take your place. That girl who got her acceptance rescinded to Tennessee, well, the truth is that there is another student  on the wait list who was just as good as her, they didn't get the spot b/c of random chance, as soon as the uni saw that there was something negative attributed to her they said, lets get rid of her, take the just as good other person off the waitlist.  Its a very competitive world out there and the only reason people got passes for all sorts of things before is b/c large swathes of their natural competition was forcibly held back.  Chinese proverb-" if you dont want anyone to know you did the thing, dont do the thing" I am of the "when you know better, do better camp" but the world we live in is full of capable intelligent people and anyone who has any black spot against them can just as easily be replaced by someone who doesnt.  the safety that used to come from being the right background, sec, etc etc has become less efficacious. [/quote]

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