Reply to Sister books the same wedding venue I wanted to get married at

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP - Your sister is a self-centered B.  No question about that.  And I say that as someone with two sisters.

The issue is where you go from here, how do you choose to feel about this.  Do you want to let her get to you?  You are choosing to make this mean something that causes you to feel bad.  I would talk to a therapist about how to reframe this in your mind so it does not drive you crazy.  You are giving her power over your feelings.  Wouldn't it be great to be able to not give a crap about this at all and laugh at her for her pettiness and total lack of creativity?  Wouldn't it be great to have her money and beauty AND be able to think for yourself.  Too bad for her that she is so pathetic.  [/quote]

Well, speaking of therapy...  :roll:

It’s not like OPs wedding ideas were super original... it’s an existing venue, and a Pinterest board, ffs. [/quote]

This is making OP crazy and this is a long standing pattern of her relationship with her sister, if she went into all the details of the long standing pattern we would call her crazy, but that doesn't mean it is not true.  I think choosing a place your sister wanted to get married to get married is petty and self-centered, the fact that 50 other weddings take place there a year doesn't mean it is not different when your sister does it.  All I am suggesting is that she take back control of her feelings from her sister and figure out how to not care and see her sister for as small as she is.  I am suggesting that she take the power over her feelings away from her sister.  Being dismissive of the OP's feelings is also not a path to resolving them.[/quote]

NP.  There is no evidence that OP’s sister knew that OP had coveted this wedding venue before. From OP’s last post, it sounds like her sister was surprised to hear that from OP.  And it hardly matters now for OP — she’s already married, so it’s not like she’s ever going to host her own wedding there, unless she’s willing to divorce and start over.  OP may have hurt feelings because she couldn’t afford that venue back when she was getting married, but it’s not like her sister caused that or could resolve it for her.[/quote]

Actually, in OP's first post she says that her sister knew how sad OP had been that she could not get married in this specific location.

I do not know if it is conscious or unconscious that OP's sister is doing this.  But OP needs to find the comedy in it and stop giving it power over her.  Family dynamics are weird things.  If someone is malicious then it is good to gain perspective and space, if someone is clueless it is really helpful to recognize the pattern and learn how to let it go, whether by talking about it or acknowledging to yourself that it is unintentional and a twisted form of flattery.  It is okay to cry about it too.  What is not okay is to deny OP's feelings as valid because it was a long time ago and she is already married.

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