Reply to Everything was great for 6 months and then family finds out and boom: he ends it. Advice?

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Reply to "Everything was great for 6 months and then family finds out and boom: he ends it. Advice?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Any update, OP?[/quote]

He is still in touch. He says he misses me a lot—but his family is on his case and he does not know what to do. [/quote]

Yeah, this is unworkable. It shouldn’t be this hard. I’m sorry for him that he can’t get out from under his family’s thumb in midlife, but it really shouldn’t be your problem anymore, OP. I’d let go entirely, and if it’s confusing you to stay in touch with him, I’d cut it off. It’s now a no-brainer, and I say that with the full understanding of what he meant to you, and how wonderful your time together was.[/quote]

OP here. Yes, you and the last poster are right and I know this. I think the next time he reaches out--because I know he will--I am going to have to just say something like "You know I enjoyed our time together and thought there was something that could last a long time, but I can't be in touch anymore if you don't want to resume a relationship. I know you have family pressure and you have to figure out what to do about that."

I have already told him multiple times this issue is not really just about me. He does not know how he should deal with family pressure (if he should just get married to make them happy or not). Not seeing me does not stop their pressure now. I can't wait around for him to figure it out. I think he is keeping me in his orbit because he really does like but does not want to close the door completely. He needs to make a decision about dealing with his family. The fact that he did not deal with this years ago when he was dating an American for years (and he did not tell his parents but siblings knew) is beyond me (and his dad gave his blessing to marry an American. It is just like he has been avoiding an issue that should have been dealt with years ago. What is disappointing is he said early on this had been dealt with--and clearly, that is not true. I would not have pursued it at all if I was not assured by him that he was past this. He is too old to be dealing with this. [/quote]

YOU are too old to be dealing with this.

You are a single mom.  Move on[/quote]

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