Reply to Husband making comments about my dad's will

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I lost my mother last year after she battled cancer for several years, and this year my father decided to remarry. We are all happy for him. My mother's family has also given their blessings. My husband made a comment initially about "rebound" and told me to tell my dad to take it slow. I took his concerns seriously and talked to my dad. My dad felt that he had made a well thought out decision in the right frame of mind and felt good about moving forward. I told him I supported him.

When I mentioned this conversation with my husband, to my surprise, he didn't seem to agree with me. He said, parents are like kids sometimes, you just have to tell them what to do. This is not the relationship I have with my father.

A few days ago I told my husband the date for the wedding (we will watch on zoom). He asked me if I had talked to my father about his will. Would his new wife be the beneficiary? What about her kids from a previous marriage? My response to my husband was that if there is a change to my dad's will he would let me know but I am not going to ask.

Now I feel my husband has been playing a game all along. This is very hurtful and petty. To add to it all, the other day my husband asked me with a smirk how old my new step mother is and whether she is that much older than us. (she is 58, my dad is 68). I just said, "I don't know, I have not asked."

My father spent years caring for my ailing mother. Waking up nights with her, taking her to the hospital for her treatments. He deserves this and so much more. It is shocking to see my husband behave like this.

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Are people reading the entire post??? Your mom died just last year and he's already getting married?!  Yes this is a bad warning sign, and your husband seems to be the only one to understand what it all entails. Honestly he should have waited a year to start dating, something isn't adding up here OP.
Has anyone checked out this woman's background? I'm sure she's fine, but there's a lot of elder abuse with older men that rush into marriages with younger woman. Whose idea was it to get married this fast?[/quote]
Did you skip right over the part where the OP said her mother was ailing for years before she passed? It’s not like mom dropped dead out of the blue and dad is rushing to the altar the day after.[/quote]

Well what on earth would that have to do with anything? You're still very much married and supposed to be committed if your partner gets sick.
[/quote]
DP.  When someone has a long-term illness that leads to death, their loved ones often start to grieve the loss of that person well before they actually die.  They are still deeply committed to them, but have already come to terms with their imminent death so that by the time it happens, they’ve already done the heavy emotional work of grieving, and are often ready to move on to a new relationship much sooner after the death than when the death was unexpected.

OP’s dad remarrying now doesn’t mean he doesn’t still love OP’s mom, and that he wasn’t deeply devoted to her while she was alive.  But the nature of her illness and death makes it unsurprising that he’s ready to move forward with a new relationship sooner than you might expect.  It doesn’t say anything about his love for his late wife.[/quote]

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