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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] My kids — 9 and 5 — are home all day distance learning and cannot stop stealing food. They eat three squares, I’m always ready with a healthy snack. They get plenty of treats. hot chocolate, bake something, etc. but they will still go into the cabinets and fridge and eat an entire box of crackers or pick the top layer off of the lasagna left over from last night. My husband locks his ice cream in our chest freezer but if we forget they will destroy it.

They know because we’ve said really clearly what they can and can’t have. We’ve tried taking away electronics and putting things in time out or canceling fun stuff when they disobey but honestly the problem is so pervasive that they’d have to be in perpetual  lockdown if we punished every infraction. Also, sometimes the perfidy is not discovered until later which complicates things. It’s not just carby sugary things, they will pound a box of lunch meat or a pint of strawberries, leave the trash, and lie about it.

At first it was  annoying but is getting  to be a big problem. My 9 yo is getting seriously overweight. Her stealing is obviously compulsive in some way.  She has discussed it with her therapist and has made some progress  but often backslides. The 5 yo is a normal weight but now refuses food at meals because he knows he can just get something better later when he pokes around. He is sharp enough that when he gets caught she blames his sister which causes extra strife.

I feel like locking things sends a bad message. And I have a healthy diet with a good amount of splurges and I don’t want to stop buying things I like because they can’t hang. Any advice appreciated. [/quote]

I couldn’t help noticing your language in describing your children’s food and eating behaviors... there is something about it that’s almost punishing and connotes strong disapproval and a sense of wrong-doing... have you noticed this? I wonder if this is also how you might be communicating when you describe food choices and their with behavior them? I am not finger pointing or trying to blame... just noticing. Maybe try using more neutral and less loaded language when it comes to food and eating?  I also realize you might be just spent and so frustrated by all this and it is just coming out in the language which would be so understandable. But just bringing voice to it in case it is something deeper.

-stealing
-destroy
-pound
-disobey
-perfidy
-splurges (your own)

[/quote]
I have to agree with you. Problems with her kids sound run of the mill kids eating problems in the U.S. Yet, she is using similar language as in dehumanizing rhetoric. For example, in Nazi Germany, such strong language and worse was used to dehumanize Jews. It reeks of blaming the victim. OP is the mom in this scenario yet we did not hear a single thing about what SHE and DH should do to constructively work on improving this situation! I mean these kids are not owners of Popeyes chicken to be proving their own food![/quote]

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