Reply to Husband sent private emails to a friend about our relationship

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I hope you are still reading.  I don't think your marriage is doomed due to cheating.  Plenty of marriages survive affairs.  I also don't think your marriage is doomed because your husband is bi and cheated with a same sex partner.  You can get past this.  IMO, though, it's your husband that has to prove over time that he is a safe partner who wants to put in the work to save your marriage.  He is the one that needs to do the heavy lifting.  Many bi people maintain long-term monogamous relationships; your husband can be one of them, but make sure he takes the steps to rebuild trust and isn't expecting you to rugsweep and do all the work.[/quote]

It's not about him being bi (  don't think he is)   or surging infidelity.  Op didn't agree to or seem to be interested in an open relationship or a relationship with a bi man.

It also doesn't seem like her husband is happily bi it seem like he's gay  ashamed and closeted.  He married OP because his culture/ religion whatever doesn't accept homosexuality.  Op is his non consenting beard.

It's a sad situation for both. Honestly is needed from both.

Do they want an open marriage where there's consent for him to be with men when he needs to?

Or does he need to come to terms with wanting aan for a life partner.

They need to be honest and not just bury their heads.

[/quote]

OP here although I should be. Why do you think he's gay and not bi? It's been almost 2 decades, we have kids, and he really is putting a lot into the relationship, sometimes even more than me. The emails to his straight friend in some ways were trying to help the relationship. He was trying to get advice is what I found out. Just a bad way of going about it. It wasn't really an affair. It was just a hookup with a person he didn't know. It's still very scary for me, but it's a world I don't really know. Just curious what gave you insight from an online discussion that even bi might not be a correct term for his sexuality.[/quote]

I mean only you can evaluate if he is attracted to you. Does he seem like he is into your love life? [/quote]

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