Reply to Has anyone stayed with a spouse after they had an affair?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I also work full time while doing almost everything to raise the kids and run the household. [b]And my husband doesn't even work.[/b] I would never cheat. But sometimes I sure wish he would so [b]I would finally have reason to leave[/b]. About 8 years ago, he accused me of cheating for absolutely no reason. Never have, never would. Literally, there was a group email thread between several of my friends from high school, a couple of whom were men and he was convinced I was planning to have an affair. It was the most bizarre thing. Our marriage has never been the same. He brings it up every few years as if I actually had an affiar--like he has created this complete fantasy as if it happened. If my husband can't get over something he completely imagined, I can't envision you getting over something that actually did. [/quote]

Is he physically and mentally capable of working? If so, you do have a reason to leave. A capable man not working would be a good enough reason for me.

Also - he cheated. Men who project cheating onto their spouses have done it themselves. Guarantee it. [/quote]

Yes, very capable. He comes from wealthy, narcissistic parents and as a result, is very entitled and couldn't do well in a workplace because he looked down on everybody around him. He has a trust fund, but keeps it 100% separate so I will never have a claim to any of it, and he barely contributes to our day to day expenses. I have saved very little for retirement, because I have to cover about 85% of our expenses. He and his parents will pay for kids' college, so I at least don't have to worry about that. As for his cheating, wow, that never even occurred to me. Honestly, he almost never leaves the house, so it's hard for me to figure out when it ever would have happened, but very interesting to think about. Once this pandemic is over and the kids and I are back out of the house more, I'll have to keep a closer eye. I know it sounds insensitive to those of you who have been truly hurt, but I really do wish he would just find someone else and get out of my life. I myself can't afford to leave. [/quote]

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