Reply to DH and I constantly fighting over child care

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Reply to "DH and I constantly fighting over child care - how do you do it?"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP I stopped reading the replies. I think pretty much everything has been said but I'll add this:

My husband makes biking a part of his daily routine. He gets up at 5:00 am to do it. He's home and in the shower by 6:00. Our son wakes up at 6:30. I work out during my lunch hour. I do yoga DVDs after my son is asleep. It's not even on the table for us to take regular time to do something like work out during family hours.

We are desperate for time as a family. I wouldn't dream of doing something away from my family on the weekends most of the time. We go to the park or the indoor gyms. We go out to family friendly restaurants (usually a disaster). We get together with friends with their kids and chase them all around someone's backyard while drinking beer and cooking hotdogs. We take bike rides around the capital with DS in the bike seat. That is our weekends. Pretty much every weekend. When one of us has something to do away from the family, we are usually pretty sad about it and desperate to get back.

We go grocery shopping together and someone runs errands while our son has his naps, but we're all together when he wakes up. We take family walks to the dry cleaners and the post office, where they know our son's name. As much as possible, we make everything a family activity because during the week, we just never see each other.

About once a month, each of us goes out. Usually with other parents, usually in the hood, to have "grown up time" separately. My husband does Monday night football with other dads. I have a monthly game/wine night with other moms. About once a month we get a sitter and go out together. Once a week we take the night off together in the house and just talk and drink wine and reconnect.

I mention all these things because this is how it should work. Or some semblance thereof. You and your husband should want to be together and do things that make it so that you're together.

If your husband wants to work out, he should have to do it during a time where he won't miss your child. Otherwise, you should all go for a bike ride as a family. If  he needs adult time alone, he should definitely take it. But once a month is a more reasonable frequency. The point SHOULD be that your family (all three of you together) is what you want to be doing more than anything else in the world. I hope you both find that OP.[/quote]

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