Reply to I genuinely don't get saving for college for kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm not going to read the surely inane responses on this thread.

OP I AGREE WITH YOU.

You are not missing anything. I had the same experience as you and paid for law school myself as well. [b]There was no huge crushing debt. I took out only as much money as I needed and aggressively paid it back. My siblings all did the same. My cousins all did the same. None of our families bankrolled our education and WE VALUED IT MORE.[/b]

I love my peers who take on insane jobs and hours to make money to help their kids. You know what helps kids? Prioritizing spending time with them, being a part of raising them and teaching them responsibility and to take ownership of their lives.

OP- listen to your own good common sense. Your kid is lucky to have you. [/quote]

But the rules for student loans have changed.  The only loans students can get in their own name (barring some unusual situation) is the federal loan, max $31k for undergrad (which is probably a reasonable limit for most students).  If you need more from that you need a parent to co-sign so it is then as much the parent's loan as the students.  Is this parent who refuses to save for college going to be willing to co-sign a loan they will then be responsible for?  And, likely has a high interest rate?  Why would you pay so much for a loan that you could have avoided by saving when you can afford it.  If you want the student to have "skin in the game", then just tell them what you are paying is a loan and work out the terms for them to pay you back.  Would be a lot cheaper.

It IS possible to get through college on your own with just the federal loan limits if you go to a CC, work FT all summer and PT all school year, transfer to a local public university and live at home (assuming parents are gracious enough to let you live at home and not charge you rent). We actually worked through this option with DS as an exercise in understanding college costs and tradeoffs.  For families who can't afford to save or pay for a more expensive option via cash flow, then that's their best option.  Unless your child gets one of the exceedingly rare full rides -- tuition + R&B.  Which is great but not an expectation you should build your college planning around.[/quote]

I am the PP and don't have any problem giving my kids an interest free loan to go to college on an aggressive repayment schedule. What I don't like is this attitude that parents are expected to sacrifice for decades so their kids can have four years of extravagant living. In my opinion, fully paid for college/room and board is beyond extravagant. Our family doesn't have a huge HHI but we are comfortable. If the markets work out well for us, I would absolutely want to be generous with my kids but I still would not pay their way through school. I think someone's point earlier about properly setting expectations is great. There is nothing wrong with going to CC and then transferring to a different school later. I had a full ride for college but would have done that otherwise. Many of my cousin's who have parents that work at McDonalds or factories have taken that route and are putting themselves through graduate school now. (I also graduated ten years ago so loans may be different but I don't know.) All of us got our last degree from really prestigious universities and all three of us paid off our grad school debt less than five years out of grad school. My little sister paid off 40k in less than two years... as a social worker.

My approach has been that if we stay financially comfortable, I plan to either buy each of my kids their first house or give them the down payment for it. (Obviously am not going to tell them this.) But I believe part of my job as their parent is to help them do hard things and figure out their way in the world. If that route is going to college, I want to know that they have a good enough head on their shoulders to figure it out. If that means being an artist or businessperson or whatever, they need to show me they are responsible adults before being handed tens of thousands dollars.

Higher education is not as attainable as it should be in this country but the idea that your kids are entitled to you paying for their college/grad school is terrible. If you are super wealthy and it is no skin off your back to pay for your kids' schooling, do it! But don't guilt other people who can't do that or don't want to do that and call them bad parents. That's ridiculous.[/quote]

That makes no sense to buy a house but not pay for college.  They can be good kids and hard workers and have school paid for.  There is no way to pay off $40K as a social worker making $40-50K in two years except if she lived at home/no expenses. [/quote]

Yes, there is A Way. She lived in her own place and pays her own bills... Because our parents raised us to know how to be self sufficient adults. She took side jobs and prioritized paying off her loans above anything else like eating out and and taking vacations. She rented out one of the rooms in her condo as well. The fact that you don't think it is possible for someone to save 40k of 100k is the same type of mentality that lets people whine about their own bad choices. This is why each generation is becoming increasing more entitled and unable to handle adult life.
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