Reply to What reasons WOULD you decide to leave/divorce over

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "What reasons WOULD you decide to leave/divorce over"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is a sexless marriage a reason to leave?  Anyone left a decent marriage when sex was down to 1x a month and no regrets?[/quote]

Once a month is not sexless. Try many years—that is sexless and a reason to leave.[/quote]

Sex 10x a year or less is by definition a sexless marriage.  I suppose 1x a month can technically fall above that cutoff but its dysfunctional and a sign the marriage is completely broken.

Choose your least worst option:  be sexually miserable but see your kids every day or find love again but break up your family (cue the Open Marriage Poster to give the third option...)[/quote]

Pardon me - who appointed you to define “sexless marriage”?  It’s OK to say that sex 1x a month is not enough for you to lead a happy life.  But, it’s not OK to lie or manipulate your spouse into more or have sex secretly outside the marriage. Man up, talk with your spouse and decide how to move forward in honesty to create a good enough life for all of you. Maybe that will be married - maybe divorced. [/quote]

Assuming you have a normal healthy husband who never would date you with sex just 1x a month, then Woman up and leave him! Do not stay married to a guy you don’t want a normal sex life with. It’s not OK to manipulate your spouse into a monogamous relationship with an asexual room mate. Or accept that your husband is meeting his needs elsewhere.[/quote]

Who defines what is “normal”?  No one.  Your wife is offering you sex once a month. She is being clear about that. She is not manipulating you into a relationship. You know what you are getting and choose to stay for now at least. You can choose to leave also. Once a month is not asexual and is not a roommate situation.  You clearly have a problem accepting your own agency over this situation. You also clearly have difficulty understanding boundaries - what you control about yourself v. what you can’t control about your wife.  And you have trouble accepting the consequences of your potential decisions, thus your desire to stay in the marriage while shifting blame to your wife instead of acknowledging that you can make choices and that every choice has pros and cons. [/quote]

Normal is established within each specific couple. So ask yourself how much sex your husband (and you too) wanted while dating early in marriage. Then later on when a wife "offers" sex only once per month she HAS manipulated their relationship that never would have reached this point. Most normal men with normal sex dives (and lots of women) WOULD consider 1 per month an asexual room mate situation. You clearly have a problem projecting your own greatly reduced "normal" onto others who have not changed at all... still same normal as always.

I am not blaming anybody for anything. I do suggest that a wife who has lost her libido should divorce if she cannot accept that her husband has not lost his libido and will be getting that need met elsewhere. Your change in normal does not mean that his could/wound also change.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics