Reply to How to keep the other woman away from my child?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I appreciate all the feedback. I recognize that I do need therapy, but him telling me she was moving in just brought up feelings I thought I had moved past. He's a good father and before Corona hit whenever I would see him show up at sporting events and doing things with our child I imagined that somehow we could work this thing out. I know that he's to blame but sometimes it's easier to blame someone you don't know very well. It feels like this person stole my life, I don't want her stealing my family too. I don't know if anyone has ever been in this exact position, but I feel like I'm being replaced. I am much prettier than she is but she's younger, and " fun". If he hadn't of destroyed my life is be more " fun" too.
Again thank you for all the advice I'm listening and internalizing it. [/quote]

Well you ARE being replaced as a wife/partner so do move beyond that.

However, on the "other woman", I would take a different tack.  I would do absolutely nothing.  Dad cheated, dad moved her in, so I'm sorry but dad doesn't get to outsource a conversation on "why this woman is here" to mom.  Say nothing to your child.  Let dad handle it. All of it. Every damn word. And when your child comes back and tells you, you say, "hmmm."  And nothing else.  At this point teenagers are super-motivated to find attractive whatever you condemn so make sure you are never ever openly critical of her.   Say "hmmm" a lot.  You want to make sure that your child is positively aching to hear what you think of this.  That will give you time to find the right words.

Oh, keeping them apart won't happen.  They will be together.  But that doesn't mean your child won't eventually choose not to. [/quote]

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