Reply to How to keep the other woman away from my child?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was your daughter OP.  I was 12.

My mom was a lot like you.  Because of it, I hated my dad for years.  I don't think my mom ever came out and said "dad cheated on me with S and that's why we are divorced" but she still made it know.

When I was in college, it occured to me that my mom was pissed at my dad and using me as revenge.  And she got her revenge.  But she also ruined my relationship with my dad for me.  I hated her for it.  I hated how selfish she was.  I hated that she cared more about revenge than letting me have my dad.  I hated that she couldn't put my happiness first.  That destroyed my relationship with her for a while too.

I now have a relationship with both my parents (I'm mid 30s) but it took a lot of therapy.  When I think back I'm still angry with my mom.  I can't get those years back.

So my advice OP is to put your daughter first.  Don't make her a pawn in your anger and want for revenge.  Let her have a normal relationship with her dad.  And please, get therapy.  
[/quote]

Why doesn't it make you angry your dad is scum and screwed over your family?[/quote]

Where did I say I didn't have anger then or now?  Anger doesn't mean you stop loving someone, or cut them off or call them names.  My dad was wrong,  he knows that, we have had that conversation, but he's also my dad  and I love him, and he loves me.[/quote]

But you expected your mother to be a saint. Your dad, you excuse.[/quote]

The person you responded to is not the pp. I am and I did not post this.  I also did not expect my mom to act like a saint.  But I did expect her not to use me as a pawn.  I do wish she let me have a relationship with my dad.  I do wish she got therapy.  I do wish that my dad could have been present at big events in my life.  I saw other friends parents go through divorces and saw much better ways of dealing with it. [/quote]

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