Reply to Inflexible, Perfectionist Parents, How Did You Relax Your Parenting?

Forum Index » Elementary School-Aged Kids

Reply to "Inflexible, Perfectionist Parents, How Did You Relax Your Parenting?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]I am a very Type A, borderline OCD, uptight, rigid perfectionist. I have been evaluated for medication before and was told that I didn't need to take something if my "quirks" didn't interfere with my quality of life. As an example, I cannot set my alarm unless it is in 15-minute increments (i.e. 5:45 am, 6:00 am, 6:15 am, I cannot do 6:07 am). However, I can leave the house at any time (i.e. if we're ready to leave for school, back when they went to school, and it was 7:17, I don't have to wait until 7:30). Therefore, I was fine, it just meant I sometimes had to set my alarm for earlier than absolutely necessary. (My husband, on the other hand, can set his alarm for 6:22 because 6:30 is too late but 6:15 is too early.)

We have a professionally decorated house, but luckily while I spend WAY too much time making sure everything is perfect before people come over (not a problem I've had for the last 3+ months!), I am able to live in the house the rest of the time and not freak out about every little thing. Yes, I do still remind my children not to put their hands on the walls while they walk, but I don't yell about it, I just say it as a reminder, more because I do think learning to take care of things is a good life skill and I don't want them treating other people's houses like a playroom. We also have a nanny and a maid, and the thing I have come to appreciate about them is that, even though they don't do things the exact way I would do them, they are saving me time by doing those things for me. (I will say, when it comes to the way my nanny interacts with my kids I do still have high standards, but when it comes to things that don't matter in the long run or the things she does around the house, I let more go). I mean, I can clean my entire house, but it's going to take away either from my work, the time I get to spend with my family, or my sleep, and I place a higher priority on all those things than I do with the way my microwave was cleaned.

OP, I sympathize with you, and I do often strive to do things the best way (i.e. making my own mayo because all the store-bought ones are predominantly a bad kind of oil, even the ones that advertise that they have olive oil because that's only a small part of it), but I have learned that it's just not worth it all the time to do those things. Is my mayo healthier for my family? Absolutely. Is the increase in health worth the added effort? Nope. The ability to see things like that is what keeps me from being medicated, but I would consider medication in a heartbeat if I was as miserable as you say you are. There is nothing wrong with using medication to help improve the quality of your life, absolutely nothing. People who aren't Type A like us won't understand and they'll just tell you to do less, but I know how hard that can be. So if you can't do it on your own, please consider getting some help to do so. I can't imagine you won't be happier.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics