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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was a SAHM, had an affair, and got divorced. I don’t know why people think going back to work is a negative thing, I really enjoy working.

Life is definitely better now. Kids are with their dad 50% of the time so I actually have more free time now than as a SAHM. My ex controlled all the money, so even though I make less than him, my standard of living is higher. There’s no shortage of men to date. Life’s pretty good. [/quote]

I'm glad you landed on your feet. Some posters can be very black and white about cheating. I had one friend who got divorced. I didn't understand why at the time because I really liked her husband and they had a kid. Later on I found out how emotionally abusive and unsupportive he and his family were, and that she had an affair during the marriage. Then she left (not for her AP, just left in general). She went back to work and is so much happier now.

I say this because even though we were close friends, you don't ever really know another person's marriage. She had only told one friend about this during the marriage (not me). Sometimes a person is just being a selfish jerk by having an affair, but sometimes the spouse is being cruel and this is an escape while coming to terms with what to do. I don't condone it, but I also get how life can be messy and decent people can do not so decent things during a bad time.

I don't agree with the posters who enjoy sticking it to SAHMs who need to go back to work. It's not like the husbands are always perfect partners and the cheating wives are evil. I also don't think alimony should be based on cheating or not. A marriage is too complex of an issue. I say this as someone who's pretty sure my husband has been cheating on me. I don't think it's entirely my fault, but I also know that our marriage has been rocky for a while so it's different from some happy couple with one spouse getting blindsided. [/quote]

Honey, if your affair was with a married man with kids, you ruined two families.  You are still entirely “selfish” thinking “poor old me and my emotionally distant husband” completely accepting zero responsibility for f@cking another woman’s husband and ruining her kids’ future.  A woman who did nothing to deserve the intentional harm you inflicted knowing she and her kids existed.[/quote]

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