Reply to Wife refusing to pitch in with help with aging mother

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I feel like people are being too hard on OP. His wife is right -- she is right! -- but this is his MOTHER not some distant relative. Yes he should sit down with his family of origin and discuss solutions, but he can't make his sister pay. What is he going to do, wrestle her checkbook away from her and forge her signature? He can't make her pay. [/quote]

Then his dad takes early retirement and takes care of the mom.

I’m sorry, but this is a situation where the dad and the sister are basically saying they don’t want to pay for mom’s care. That doesn’t make it OP’s responsibility. At a minimum, his dad needs to step up.

If dad uses up all his resources before a real retirement, then OP and his sister will have to figure out how to handle his care at a later date. Right now, OPs solution of putting his kids in childcare for 11+  hours a day is ridiculous. He’s going to burn out, his wife is going to be stressed and his kids will be stressed. OP’s sister is functioning as if it’s everyone’s job to subsidize her life. It’s not. She’s not going to change her attitude until OP changes his behavior. [/quote]

I am not saying it SHOULD be his responsibility I am saying, as someone who lost their mom a few years ago, I can understand OP's emotional stake in this. It is his mother. All of our rationale about the wife being right can't override the emotional connection of this is his mother and he can't just throw his hands up and let the chips fall where they may. I would be mad as hell at my useless f*****g sister and her drunk ass husband and frustrated with my dad but imagine this is your mother needing (assuming you love your mom and have/had a decent relationship with her), it's not that easy. I can see why he is struggling. [/quote]

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