Reply to Can someone explain the mindset of a cheater?

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Reply to "Can someone explain the mindset of a cheater?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I'm the original poster you responded to (not the pp in your response) but my answer would be that it's you, not the wife.  You cheated even before your "sexless" period and so how can it be about anyone else?  You also just mentioned that it's the opportunity which drives men to cheat (you know tall, outgoing men) which again means that it's not about your wife.   Honestly, it's either that all men are like this (driven by opportunity), or that there is a certain mindset which pre-disposes a man to cheat (I discarded that it's the wife/life situation since that's not the case in your example).   If it's opportunity, then women shouldn't trust any man at anytime and men shouldn't expect that women should trust them.  [/quote]

I mean, look, once you understand that this is about the men, not about their relationships, then you finally get that this has nothing to do with you. Really.  It's not a reflection on your worth as a woman, wife, human being, it's not a reward or a punishment for any perceived wrongs. It just isn't.  Your husband is a wholly separate person and his choices are his own.

With regard to trust, I don't hang my trust of my husband on his sexual fidelity and I certainly hope he doesn't hang his on mine.  There are other standards for spousal performance.[/quote]

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