Reply to If your spouse lost all interest in sex, could you stay married?

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Reply to "If your spouse lost all interest in sex, could you stay married?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Before we got married, I made it clear that intimacy is a critical factor for my happiness. She said, "me, too."

For years we enjoyed a healthy sex life, even after having children. But then the frequency waned. Then her interest waned. And now we're in a desert.

I've always taken on more of the HH chores - 100% of laundry for 5 member HH, shared groceries, most of the cleaning, shared cooking, as well as full-time "grounds keeper". So she's not swamped with work. I adore and spend a lot of quality time with our children. I do all of this because I want to and I care for my family; not as a down-payment for sex.

I'm early 50s and live a relatively healthy lifestyle - no drinking/smoking and an avid runner - most days I can still see my 6-pack. I have a great job and bring in a respectable income.

I have tried talking with her. Tried spicing things up. Date nights and planned get-aways. We went to counseling. Still, desert. Absolutely dead.

I love her very much and over the years I've resisted temptation. However, it wasn't always easy to walk away. And sometimes, when things are particularly difficult, I regret those decisions.

I understand that she no longer wishes to be intimate. It's her body and that is obviously her right. I get it. I don't beat her up about it. I don't engage the conversation anymore. I still do my part for our family. I know my wife is happy.

But a lot of times I feel dead inside. I can't trick my mind and body into thinking I don't need intimacy. I feel unloved and betrayed. I honestly don't know what to do.

And yeah, I realize this post sounds pathetic. 
[/quote]

You sound like a good guy.  Just don’t cheat.  Go to sex counselor and let her know it’s required.  You have something that you can work with.[/quote]
It is NOT cheating when a man in sexless marriage saves his marriage by meeting his normal/legitimate needs elsewhere. Stop calling it that.[/quote]

It IS cheating if they don't talk about it first.[/quote]

That’s a 5 second conversation. Nice to have (as a courtesy) but not essential.[/quote]

Not essential if you're cool with cheating. Essential if you're a decent human being.[/quote]
Not cheating. Any sexless wife ABSOLUTELY KNOWS that a normal man has needs and if she's not interested that his is meeting that need elsewhere. And she should be [u]gratefull[/u] for that because it has saved her from divorce.
The conversation is totally redundant, and therefore, optional.[/quote]

You are broken in the head.[/quote]

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