Reply to If your spouse lost all interest in sex, could you stay married?

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Reply to "If your spouse lost all interest in sex, could you stay married?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Before we got married, I made it clear that intimacy is a critical factor for my happiness. She said, "me, too."

For years we enjoyed a healthy sex life, even after having children. But then the frequency waned. Then her interest waned. And now we're in a desert.

I've always taken on more of the HH chores - 100% of laundry for 5 member HH, shared groceries, most of the cleaning, shared cooking, as well as full-time "grounds keeper". So she's not swamped with work. I adore and spend a lot of quality time with our children. I do all of this because I want to and I care for my family; not as a down-payment for sex.

I'm early 50s and live a relatively healthy lifestyle - no drinking/smoking and an avid runner - most days I can still see my 6-pack. I have a great job and bring in a respectable income.

I have tried talking with her. Tried spicing things up. Date nights and planned get-aways. We went to counseling. Still, desert. Absolutely dead.

I love her very much and over the years I've resisted temptation. However, it wasn't always easy to walk away. And sometimes, when things are particularly difficult, I regret those decisions.

I understand that she no longer wishes to be intimate. It's her body and that is obviously her right. I get it. I don't beat her up about it. I don't engage the conversation anymore. I still do my part for our family. I know my wife is happy.

But a lot of times I feel dead inside. I can't trick my mind and body into thinking I don't need intimacy. I feel unloved and betrayed. I honestly don't know what to do.

And yeah, I realize this post sounds pathetic. 
[/quote]

And I'm sure she meant that sex was important to her. It was. But if she's your age, her body is going through as many changes as she went through at puberty. For real. And it sucks. And I don't WANT to not want to have sex, but ... I'm just not as into it as I had been before. And my DH is a good guy, shares housework and childcare. [b]I'm certainly less interested in him even more than I'm less interested in sex. (I still want sex, but less so with DH.[/b])[/quote]
I understood everything you shared up until this last part. Could you please clarify?[/quote]

I'd probably be more interested in having sex with a new partner.[/quote]

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