Reply to Therapist Won't Condemn my Partner's Affair.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP again. No, not together. Separated in December. Kids are 12, 9, 7. We've just been shoveling them bs like sometimes mommy and daddy need breaks. I can't tell you how much restraint it takes to not tell them that their mom is a liar and a pos and thats why their family was smashed into pieces.[/quote]

FWIW, I settled on telling kids that people who live together have to agree on rules for living together - how to spend money, how to spend time, where to live, who to be friends with, etc. Mom and Dad disagreed so we tried to get another adult to help is make an agreement but that didn’t work, so we are going to live in different houses and share time with them (insert exactly how here).

Since DH was cheating with a succession of women and basically unable to stop, this felt like the most honest approach without spilling inappropriate info to kids.

For 15 years, I kept quiet about the cheating. TBH, in the long run I’m not sure that was really for the best - secrets distort relationships.  My kids are teens now, and I think that they have understood a lot of their Dad’s behavior as a lack of love for them rather than a reflection of his own deep characters. [/quote]

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