Reply to Eldercare is tearing my family apart

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[quote=Anonymous]The elderly person is NOT a toddler.  They are an old person in the process of losing their independence because their minds and bodies are getting old and not working the way that they used to.  They stay at home because that is what feels familiar and safe to them.  The idea of moving into a strange "old folks home" is scary and foreign to them - it also involves giving into the idea that things are, in fact, changing for them.  So they dig in their heels and are at once dependent on the person/people who help them to stay in their homes while also feeling resentful/guilty/shamed by needing their caregivers.  They come off as combative/rude/entitled because they are desperate to stay in their familiar environment.

That doesn't mean that the home in environment is appropriate for them.  It doesn't mean that the caregivers aren't put under incredible stress/strain to the detriment of their own health/sanity.

You have to try to step back and look at the situation with an objective eye.  For instance, is it reasonable for your parents to expect you to leave your own family/home/work/life to camp out on their couch every night in order to make it possible for them to "live independently" in their own home?[/quote]

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