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[quote=Anonymous]an elderly parent usually starts to develop (or devolve) to the personality of a toddler.  Self-centered, self-absorbed, impatient, jealous, manipulative. . .But it is worse because they think of you as the child who needs to be parented by them.

Not saying you have to like it, but looking at with that mindset has helped me.  You do have to set boundaries.   Give them the number of a taxi service, look up transportation/services their county or city offers for elderly or disabled.  Tell them specific dates or times you can help them.

My mother started calling me in a hysterical voice asking what I was doing and (I'm assuming if she didn't see it as important enough) say she had an emergency and I had to come over immediately.  Wouldn't answer questions or say anything more before hanging up, wouldn't answer return phone calls.

If I am in town, usually no more than 30min away.  First couple of times I went right over expecting a heart attack or broken hip. It wasn't a dire medical situation, she could have waited until I was off of work or had actually finished getting my hair colored.  Third time she tried it, I called back and left a voicemail claiming I was calling 911 since she said it was an emergency and needed immediate help. She called me right back and told me never mind it wasn't so important.  No more "emergency" calls from her.

The best trick for me, I never answer the phone when she calls.  I always let it go to voicemail and depending on her tone wait at least 20 minutes before calling back.  I also told her she had to leave a message, no more "oh, you have to call me back right away" messages.[/quote]

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