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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Age in place is hugely taxing on the adult children even when the patient has enough money to hire full time aides. The administration of that alone is a lot, plus filling in when caregivers are absent, etc. Some caregivers won’t do meal prep, some won’t do bathing, etc etc etc. Endless Dr appointments and errands and constantly adjusting to the latest decline. It’s brutal even when the finances are good. [/quote]

What do you think a nursing home is like?  They get bathed twice a week, barely looked after and the main activity is staring at the wall or tv.  Especially on medicaid.  I would much rather have kept my MIL at home.  We still have to visit a few times a week, bring in food, shop....doctors....dentists....[/quote]

Not at all. They vary. Aging in place was a living hell for us. The one who did continued care had a wonderful time in assisted living and memory care-regular social activities, peppy staff, tranquil gardens, social meals. The main activity of aging in place was watching TV. Once at a facility the favorite activity was sing-a-longs and meals with others. Much, much better for the wellbeing of both the elderly parent and the adult children. There is a reason why everyone in my extended family when went to a facility lived far longer than the stubborn and rigid age-on placers. Interesting to note....the adult children of age in placers had far more serious health issues by the time to age in placers passed away than the adult children of those who went to a facility.[/quote]

You really have no clue.  Your family may have been private pay but my MIL had a long slow miserable stay at a nursing home and it was horrific for all o fus.  You keep ranting about stuff you have no concept about.  Enough already.  The social activities were tv or staring at the wall.  They never went outside, staff screamed at patients and each other and the food was terrible and they didn't respect patient wishes on food either.[/quote]

Your MIL was not in a good facility or it's possible that she, herself, refused to engage in the activities/entertainment offered.  If they refuse to leave their room to dine in the dining room or they refuse to come out to play games, watch a performance or go on the outings provided by the facility, their experience is going to be very limited to watching t.v.  My own mom is a social bee so she gets involved and even does volunteer work.

My dad was in a locked Alzheimer's unit and at that stage they did not have entertainment/games, etc because the people in that unit were too sick and "out of it" to safely participate in activities.[/quote]

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