Reply to Focused on the Children - death knell for your Marriage?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My problem is being forced into picking up slack on the child maintenance in additional to my own half and family functionality, then being expected to change hats within seconds and become a "wife".  Maybe if DH didn't dump all this crap on my plate and helped get the kids in bed by a decent time and balancing the mental load, Id be more "wifey" and less "neglectful" of his needs. If I get 15 minutes to myself at the end of the day at home, it't not going to be spend servicing DH.  If i have to plan every single date including calling a sitter, it's already too much; I'd rather just stay home.  [/quote]

He should do more, but it's not going to make you feel more "wifey." If you're not attracted to him, you're not attracted to him. More time isn't going to change that. You'd just fill it up with other things that you'd prefer to be doing. [/quote]

I could have written this a few years ago.The quality of the time my husband and I spend together is much better now that he's not resentful, checked out of taking care of our kids, and making me handle everything. As I have more free time, I am not just filling it with other stuff. I always wanted to be spending time with my husband, but it wasn't relaxing having him expect that I would be taking care of him and also knowing that it was coming out of time I could have spent sleeping, because he was not going to be the one to wake up with the kids, and I was constantly sleep-deprived. [/quote]

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