Reply to Focused on the Children - death knell for your Marriage?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My problem is being forced into picking up slack on the child maintenance in additional to my own half and family functionality, then being expected to change hats within seconds and become a "wife".  Maybe if DH didn't dump all this crap on my plate and helped get the kids in bed by a decent time and balancing the mental load, Id be more "wifey" and less "neglectful" of his needs. If I get 15 minutes to myself at the end of the day at home, it't not going to be spend servicing DH.  If i have to plan every single date including calling a sitter, it's already too much; I'd rather just stay home.  [/quote]

Have you thought about your role in this? Is it your expectations of what DH should be doing or standards? For example, do the counters need to be wiped down 3x a day or is that your expectation of what needs to be done. Does Suzy really need help with her homework or brushing her teeth when the 10 yr old can navigate these things on her own?  Does Johnny really need to play on 2 basketball teams? Does Emily really need a 10 person slumber party with fancy gift bags? I don’t say this in a mean way but from my own experience. I judged my DH on my own expectations and structured a life with DCs that meant a lot of things I expected help with were unnecessary. [/quote]

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