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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

And my husband roughhouses with them a lot. Play fights, and he lets them beat up on him, and he is rough with them.  I don’t like that stuff, so I draw pretty clear boundaries with me in terms of hitting, etc.
.[/quote]

Can you describe this more? A friend of my husband play fights with his son and I’ve found the way they fight to be especially violent. Once he threw the kid several yards and I was afraid he’d break a bone. This friend always stuck me as being “off” and he always had to be ‘dominant’. The family moved away so I don’t know what happened to them.
Not saying this is what your husband is like, but that story came to mind and I’m wondering if your children are modeling the behaviors they see in their father.[/quote]

It’s just how my husband plays with them and connects with them. The kids absolutely love it. But it does get them all riled up and I do feel like the lines get blurred as to what’s ok and what’s not. They hit and fight each other.  When they all roughhouse, it almost always ends in the 5yo getting hurt and crying or he gets too wild and my husband starts yelling at him. It’s not abusive, but I do feel like it’s their way of getting out their pent up frustrations out with each other.[/quote]

OP, if your story is real and you’re not a fiction writer testing out a plot point, your internal barometer has been messed up by an abusive childhood. My husband roughhouses with our kid— serious play fighting, hitting, wrestling— and she NEVER gets hurt or ends up crying and he never ends up yelling at her. It’s not supposed to be a way of getting out pent up frustrations AT each other— at least not from the adult in the direction of the kid. [/quote]

Agree 100% and I also have a husband who wrestles with our kid. OP from your reaction you are definitely disassociating.  You need to sit your husband down and explain to him the boundaries and this terrible incident is a side effect. Then get your daughter and son both evaluated.[/quote]

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