Reply to Wife chronically depressed, blames everyone everything for her unhapiness&unfullfillment, I want out

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Reply to "Wife chronically depressed, blames everyone everything for her unhapiness&unfullfillment, I want out"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]I do not think that it is up to other people to manage your feelings and actions. If you do not work to find that drive within you, you will always be searching for it, and blaming everyone else along the way. [/quote]

I mean this kindly but you don't really understand that this is impossible with depression. In fact the inability to "find that drive"  is kind of textbook. Rather than taking it personally, accept that she is, right now, mentally ill and do your best to get her in serious treato. You can be honest with her about the impact of her depression in you and the family, but helping her by telling her to buck up or find a new activity only makes it worse. Instead, you say I realize you are in deep crisis and it's impacting all of us and I hate to see you do deeply unhappy and lost. I am going to work with you to deal with your crippling depression but I also need you to acknowledge that you, and we, need this help. I imagine it's overwhelming, because that's the effect of depression, so I've made an appt with X psychiatrist for an evaluation and we will go from there . [/quote]

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