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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have been a teacher for over 20 years and am raising a family of my own.  I have noticed a shift. Some good, some great, mostly bad. Parents have outsourced so much of their parenting.  So many children are being raised by nannies, aftercare, 10 hours of daycare from birth and it's just not the same as a consistent,  loving family member invested in their future.  The parents hang on every moment at soccer or gymnastics (the activities have never been better). This time should be used as productive time for the parents instead. That way, when the child is through, the distraction is over and the family can spend time. But, no, the parents micromanage the unimportant things. Then feel guilty ignoring them to do what could have been done while the kids were occupied.

Parents are terrified of tantrums and let the child be in charge. Children need boundaries and overindulgence is the worst thing for kids. I get so many calls from parents trying to plow a way for their kids that have nothing to do with what the kid wants or needs. (I think they should play varsity, no they have never played soccer before,). On the other hand, kids now have no concept of the biases of previous generations.   So, as long as these kids as young adult can get out of their safe spaces, function without their parents, and leave the emotional support llama at home...society will be ok.[/quote]

This is so well said...and right.[/quote]
Pp, what a rude post. Everyone can not afford for one parent to stay home these days. I will be happy to quit my job if you would like to match my salary, benefits etc. since you feel so strongly about it. 
[/quote]

NP - I don’t think the earlier poster necessarily meant one parent needs to stay at home; I agree with what they were saying (unless that was what they intended). My take is that so many parents we meet through school and in our neighborhood spend so much time working, commuting, and then doing what they have to do (errands, exercise, etc), their kids spend the bulk of the week in childcare, which I think is just par for the course in this area (though we know equal numbers of parents who stagger schedules). But I think the point is, then on the weekend, instead of doing house chores and hanging out as a family and interacting to teach manners and behavior appropriate to various situations, most families are completely over scheduled with activities, classes, brunch and scheduled play dates. My husband and I both work, but for us, a lot of our parenting comes by hanging out/unstructured time with the kids on the weekend both in guiding them on rules and manners, but also just connecting with them. I think you lose out on this if you are constantly going going going. For us, The kids test out naughty behavior at home, where there are consequences but they feel safe; they also just need relax time so they don’t burn out.  I also think they need informal hangouts or get togethers to learn and practice social skills (not classes or engineered play dates) so they know how to behave in more formal situations, but In our neighborhood it’s really hard to get together with people last minute or have our kids run down the street to see who is around. And it is also true that many parents we know alternate the humble brag/my kids are so cute conversations with the eye rolling, “so hard to handle, throw them a screen and give me some wine, you know what I mean” commiseration. I don’t necessarily think this is widespread; I am from the west coast and when I visit family back home the families we socialize it’s are much more relaxed. I think it is a function of the DMV lifestyle where people have long hours, terrible commutes and (in Arlington anyway) compete to be the busiest. It’s definitely possible, though, to be a 2 income household and still connect with and actually parent your kids; but I agree that at least around here it seems that those families are fewer and farther between. Probably because they are at home relaxing and hanging out![/quote]

You can come and hang with us in Vienna! We are exactly like you describe. Minimal structure on weekends, mostly hanging out at home or playground or day trip and maybe attending a get-together with family/friends.[/quote]

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