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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am one of four.  We have more money than our siblings and the most kids.  We’re also the only ones with grandkids.  Our parents were fairly well off, and and essentially divided things among evenly among every living family member, basically meaning our family got seven shares, for example, while my brother and his one kid only got two because there are only two of them and seven of us.  And they have far less money than us to begin with.

And guess what?  Nobody cares.  It’s the parents’ money to give, they thought this made sense, and it was their call. [/quote]

No one is going to admit they care who is a decent person but that really isn't fair if there are two of them and 7 of you AND they have far less money than you.   Decent would have been for you to split it more equally.[/quote]

What is this thing about what’s “fair”? It’s not your f’king money!! Get that thru your thick topu brain![/quote]

Yes people understand that, it really isn't the point though.  My grandmother was given two houses with her inheritance and her sister received nothing.  It ruined their relationship, the family was divided and it never resolved.

Same thing with a family friend, he received nothing and the brother got everything, their relationship never returned to normal either.

By doing things unequally it does have an impact on the remaining family because people aren't always thinking of money.  For the parent to want to leave all that money to one person it shows a favouritism and that's hurtful.  No matter what anyone says it is unlikely that a parent will look at a child they have no issues with and just say well you get nothing.  It generally means there is something going on where they have deliberately decided to leave that child out.

Take my in-laws they have already said that DH gets everything, they have ongoing issues with DH brother.  For some reason they think the two brothers will connect more when they die but as I have said to Dh the inheritance will be the final nail in that coffin.  The relationship will die with his parents.  From where I sit it is their final FU to the brother who caused them hurt and this is what people pick up with an unequal inheritance.[/quote]

I made it clear to my parents that I will only have limited contact with them and absolutely none when they pass.  I will no longer do family thanksgivings or anything else as I don't consider myself part of their family.  You cannot tell me you love me equally when you don't.

Don't think for a minute this doesn't split families.

In this situation two houses - one goes to each sibling with a cash for the difference or one sibling gets both and the other gets cash.[/quote]

Give me 1/2 of your money or I will cut you off? Nice.[/quote]

They've been cut out but for more reasons than that.  They lied to me about it for years and it just came out.  They made it clear they expected me to stay in the area to take care of them since sibling has never taken care of anyone and barely themselves.  I stayed, I helped, I spent my own money caring for one of my parents and found out there is tons of money and sibling gets regular gifts and cash (has plenty of money) and it is taking away from my family.  Why am I buying my parent basics like a walker and buying my kids less to pay for it when they have tons of money but saving it for sibling.  How would you feel?  My spouse turned down job opportunities that required us moving to stay and care for them.  Sibling is POA so I cannot really do much without involving them and they don't want to be involved and will not take time off their job to deal with things.  Its a mess.  We're moving away first chance we get.[/quote]

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