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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sex seemed like such a small part of the marriage until my wife lost interest.  Now it's the black cloud over the marriage.  For those who see it as a trivial or only semi important factor, wait till your marriage goes cold then come chime in here.[/quote]

Again, please read the prior summary of what read here:  sex is the most important thing to a man in a marriage.  After sex, men can be interested in other things like work, kids, food, alcohol etc.  Men will not worry about women getting to other tasks as long as sex is good.  UMC men will likely cheat anyway because of opportunity (ego, variety etc.).

Doesn’t this summary comport with what you’re saying?  I don’t think this dismisses your concern about sex at all.  As I say, this is what should be taught to next generation of women.  [/quote]

PP you are responding to, and I can hold multiple things important at the same time.  Again, this isn't a black or white issue.  For example, my kid's health is the most important thing to me and sex is trivial in comparison.

The question you are asking is whether the sexual aspect of the marriage is the most important.  It's hard to quantify other than to say it's essential and for most men, including me, there is no marriage without it.  Yes, I still love my wife and care about her, but its not a romantic connection and the heart moves on to others when the sex dies.[/quote]

I’m the pp poster you are responding to.  I have to tell you that although I’ve been married for over 25 years, all of this has been a learning for me.  I have daughters and this is a bit disconcerting.  I see many LTR around me and it seems that those men around me have a bit more balanced view of life/relationships but who knows.  [/quote]

PP you responded to (and not responsible for any other posts on this thread, seems like one hard-line man and woman going back and forth here).  I am kinda surprised you are surprised by this.  Maybe you have a healthy sexual relationship with your husband so it's not an issue.  I had a great sexual relationship with my wife, till the kids came, one with special needs, and everything cratered.  Sex hasn't been for months, and before that, was 1-2x a month on a good month.  Yes of course kids came first, but it was hard to fathom there was literally zero hours per week to carve out some "us" time for an intimate relationship.  And it didn't come back when kids got older and easier and she had more free time.

I don't rank sex above any other aspect, so I disagree with the title of the thread.  It's more like asking whether the flour, sugar or butter are more important in the cookie recipe.  If you don't have all three, it's a terrible cookie, even if it looks like one from the outside.

Trust me, I have read about this incessantly since I never thought this would happen to us (we are both attractive, in shape, UMC, etc.).  It's interesting that women can draw intimacy from other aspects and feel content in a relationship without sex.  Half of lesbians in long term relationships stop all together.  On average, men aren't wired this way, and stopping sex to a man is like if your husband literally never spoke to you again.  You could stay married, but not happily.[/quote]

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