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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "How can you cheat and not think about how it will affect your kids?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is from a therapist's blog. It literally describes angry sexless man, he is textbook! As a therapist, I find most of the reasons that cheating men use to justify their infidelity fascinating. Because almost all of these reasons imply that the cheating was the only logical solution to their relationship issues and other life problems. I often find myself thinking, “Sure, cheating is an option, but only one among many. How about taking up a hobby, or volunteering and making the world a better place, or actually talking to your significant other about what you’re feeling and how the two of you might be able to craft a more fulfilling relationship? Wouldn’t any of those choices be better than lying, manipulating, and keeping important secrets from a person you truly care about?” But most cheating men don’t have that type of insight. So, when confronted, they minimize, rationalize, and justify their behavior with statements like: Every guy wants to have sex with other people. And when the opportunity arises, he takes it. It’s a man’s biological imperative to have sex with as many people as he can. Why should I be any different? If I got enough (or better) sex at home, I wouldn’t need to cheat. I’m not doing anything that most of my buddies don’t do. If you don’t believe me, ask them. If my partner hadn’t gained so much weight (or if my partner was nicer to me, or more attentive, or whatever), I wouldn’t have even thought about going elsewhere. If my job wasn’t so stressful, I wouldn’t need the release I get from online sex. Cheating? Really? I mean, who would rationally call getting lap dance in a strip club infidelity? It’s just what guys do for fun. My dad looked at magazines and went to strip clubs, and that wasn’t a big deal. Well, I have webcam chats and interactive sex. What’s the difference? If the police had been out chasing actual bad guys, I wouldn’t have gotten caught in that prostitution sting. Why don’t they go after some real criminals? I’m only sexting and flirting. Where’s the harm in that? I don’t meet up with any of these people in person. It’s just a game to me. In the therapy business, we have a name for this type of reasoning. [b]We call it denial. From a psychotherapy perspective, denial is a series of internal lies and deceits that people tell themselves to make their questionable behaviors seem OK (in their own mind). Typically, each self-deception is supported by one or more rationalizations, with each rationalization bolstered by still more falsehoods. In the eyes of an impartial observer, a cheating man’s denial typically looks about as solid as a house of cards in a stiff breeze, yet these men will doggedly insist their rationale is sound.[/b][/quote] Absolutely correct. Thanks for posting [/quote] +1 and not surprising, we've seen most of those excuses on this forum from people who cheat. Also interesting, the bolded perfectly describes Trump, too.[/quote]
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