Reply to For women who didn't change their names, but gave their children their husband's last name...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm not particularly a feminist, so that's not why I kept my name when I got married. I am who I am, and it seemed weird to me to change my name part way through my life because of a tradition that I didn't find persuasive. When my kids were born, I was totally fine giving them my husband'a last name. [b]I have not for one minute felt my connection to them or to my husband diminished because I don't share their last name. [/b]And it has not once been an issue logistically or caused any confusion as to our being a family. It's just not a big deal. Heck, it's not even a small deal.[/quote]

Ok, but ask yourself what the point of surnames are for. [b]It's to signify family.[/b] With your attitude surnames become as meaningless as first names, and there is no reason at all for anyone in a family to share a surname with any other family member. Is that the solution? To get rid of identifying family relationships altogether?  Should surnames simply be a a way of indicating an individuals identity, without having any tie to a person's family background? [/quote]

There are many cultures where it's not the norm for the entire family to share the same surname. I'm Chinese and women are not expected to change their surnames upon marriage (though some do). Most women keep their "maiden" names. This is the norm in most Asian countries except for Japan. Dh is Hispanic and women are also not expected to change their surnames upon marriage. MIL/FIL have different surnames. It's a bit more complicated because children have a different combination of surnames from their parents. Dh only shares the same set of surnames with his brother.

Women changing their surnames upon marriage and that entire nuclear family having the same surname are subjective culturally specific traditions. Keep them or not for whatever reasons that make sense to you. It boils down to personal preference. But the the idea that these traditions are somehow universal or objective signifiers of family is absolutely absurd.

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I'm Korean and in Korea, the women keep their family names but add "Mrs" in front to signify their marital status.  [/quote]

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