Reply to My head and my heart can’t agree on 50/50 custody

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Just let him fail and slowly move to more custody for youself
 He isn't going to change who he is and actually start doing the work.

[/quote]

Most guys who have never done much kid stuff don’t actually believe that it’s a lot of work. Sure, they pay lip service to it but internally they’re rolling their eyes thinking that it’s super easy.

In your shoes I would stipulate that you agree to 50/50 as long as you have a fixed date to review and modify custody if it’s not working out. Maybe 2-6 months? It’s much easier if he agrees upfront. Document everything. If he’s not doing 50% of doctors/dentists/carpools/etc ask for an appropriate modification. You’ll have a much stronger case and you will look really reasonable if you say “Look, I agreed to 50/50 but he’s asking me to cover for him several times a week- let’s change custody to reflect our reality.”[/quote]

A 6 month review is better. There can be lots of excuses for dropping the ball in 2 months but it’s a clear pattern after 6 months. Also be sure to include right of first refusal in your agreement - if he can’t take them somewhere, he has to ask you before getting a babysitter. [/quote]

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