Reply to How to have "the talk"

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[quote=Anonymous]NP here. Haven't read all the responses, but yes, it's possible to have this conversation. It's probably most effectively done through marriage counseling, where a neutral 3rd party can help both of you understand how sex fits into the broader relationship.  The book "His Needs, Her Needs" is excellent at helping both of you understand the role of sex in a healthy marriage (note: most men need it to feel loved, most women lose interest unless shes actively feeling loved and cherished in other parts of the relationship).

However, if you aren't st the point where counseling will work, you need to find a quiet time without distractions to sit her down and tell her exactly what you are feeling AND how important it is to you. You cant be brushed off if you are clear. She may disagree or say she doesn't care, but the talk must include these elements:  1. That you love her and miss the physical connection.  2. That this is extremely important to you, and you are willing to work with her on getting to a place where you are BOTH happy with your sexlives. 3. That you hope she is willing because this could potentially be a dealbreaker for you. 4. Remind her that you love her and that when you married, you both committed to working through rough times and you are at a place where you really need her to step back and see if she has it in her ti do this with you.

Then, listen.  [/quote]

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