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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was a SAHM for 7 years and then went back to work FT. I have friends who are both. The biggest difference to me is that some of my SAHMs obsess over the small things and make themselves anxious. The WOHMs need to prioritize what’s most important. You’d think the WOHMs would be more stressed out but sometimes that’s not the case. And yes, I also used to agonize over small things as a SAHM and while I’m still drawn to certain things, I just have to let them go. I guess being WOH made me more of a realist instead of idealist.[/quote]

PP who did the “experiment” — WOHM, did a month SAH — this resonates with my experience.

At work I have a priority list and try to stay focused throughout the week. My SAHM friend gave me advice to try and do one small thing every day, like make muffins or grocery shop or organize closets. Even with that, though, I found the lack of structure daunting. Days blurred together and time was sort of free floating. My mind turned to fantasy projects around the house but in actuality I was doing the same routine tasks over and over until the week ended and then melted right into the next week. I did feel like I had more downtime and a more relaxed schedule, and out of sheer boredom I did uncharacteristic things like plant a tiny vegetable garden (incidentally, doomed), make jam, sort DC1’s fall wardrobe. But the rest of the time, I found myself paying way too much attention to how tidy the dining room table or the inside of my purse was. My mind was just looking for ways to occupy itself. I also found myself scrutinizing my children more, which was interesting because one of the main reasons I’ve worked is because I feel my mom derived her identity from her children in a way that wasn’t always healthy.

So on the one hand, the slower pace and time to be in the moment was enjoyable. On the other I think the overall setup would suit someone who is a more concrete, each day as it comes type, and also someone who needs constant contact with their kids to feel complete.[/quote]

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