Reply to Making it work when the wife is the one with the "big job"

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Reply to "Making it work when the wife is the one with the "big job" - s/o today's NY Times article"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP I think you will get more traction once you stop assigning him tasks and micromanaging him. I remember my friend's DH telling her what hours she could hire the nanny, though that didn't actually work with what SHE wanted for her own sanity. Everyone hated him.

Why can't you be more diplomatic and have a meeting. Go over the items that are part of your mental load and see what he feels. The kicker is you have to listen. Maybe some of that isn't important. If a parent wants their kid to take gymnastics and tells them to schedule it - well, that won't go very far. You haven't even had the conversation if the other parent agrees. What if they prefer swimming?

Your DH is not one more thing to manage. While I generally think that the majority of women have the mental load, it varies a lot from relationship to relationship. One of my SAHM friends did everything for her DH including his laundry, filling up his gas, scheduling his car repairs, etc. When I was SAHM, I didn't do any of that for my BL DH. When I went back full time, it was an adjustment, but he picked up a lot of the slack.

If you're not getting what you want, try doing something different. [/quote]

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