Reply to It takes a village and I have no village

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Reply to "It takes a village and I have no village"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m a PP. Dropping off meals etc are all lovely gestures. I’m not saying no one should do that, or that people who do that should be compensated. What bothers me is when people feel entitled to that. I don’t like the “hey there was supposed to be a village available to me” attitude. It always seems to be people who think their dual career, no family, no paid help lifestyle would work out just great if only the other neighborhood ladies would just pitch in like they’re supposed to.[/quote]

I understand what you are saying but OP is clear that she puts out the effort, is eager to do her part.  She just isn't getting it reciprocated.  She isn't a taker.

Sometimes you realize friends aren't what you want them to be, and the answer is to find new friends.[/quote]

You make a fair point - maybe certain things are just not a thing in her social circle. However, if you re-read the OP - she is doing nice and light social things. And mentioned "offering to babysit", not actually doing it. No late night drives to the hospital on demand, no pick ups from the hospital, no actual childcare. But, she needs all of these things plus emotional support.

To me it seems very asymmetrical. She perceives herself as putting in the effort, but she is doing fluff, yet, she expects others to do heavy lifting in return.  Notice, I am not saying it's right or wrong. I am just saying - maybe people around her got it handled. And she doesn't. And that's why they are not coming through for her?

Another thing that confuses me - putting on a babyshower for someone is more expensive that [b]taking a cab from the hospital[/b]. So why not take care of your own needs, rather than expect others to rush to her based on a Facebook post? I mean can we talk about the practical stuff? It doesn't take a village to get Lyft home, lady.[/quote]

You have obviously never had an emergency trip to the hospital, or been able to help someone who has. Hospitals will not discharge people without someone else signing them out (presumably to make sure they make it home).  God help you should you ever be in that position. Or maybe you'll hire a taskrabbit friend for an hour? [/quote]

What's the point of having a spouse then? If they can't actually be the one to help their spouse get home from the hospital? Unless one is deployed, there is no excuse. [/quote]

I guess you've never had to make hard decisions to hold on to a job bc of health insurance???[/quote]

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