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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a teenager. I regret having her almost every day. I got breast cancer when I carried her and I refused doctor's advice to have an abortion and treat the cancer. I work and have given my all for her. I need her to outgrow her selfishness. It has eaten a hole in my soul. Everything, all the time, every moment of everyday is about her...or she feels it is. 
I am exhausted and cannot wait for her to leave for college. Her Dad funds everything for her and does not allow her to have any consequences for her actions. 
So yes OP I do regret it. I wish I had put myself first.[/quote]

I’m sorry for your situation.  When my first was 18 months my DD started having Major health issues that no doctor could seem to diagnose or cure and a specialist at Hopkins told me “you really need to quit your job to take care of her, I’ve never seen such a young child so stressed in my career.”   So I did, although I was pregnant with my second and loved my career.  Three months later, just poof my daughter’s health issues just disappeared, no explanation.  And I couldn’t get my job back.  Or any job.  I looked for 5 years, and no one would hire me despite my experience and credentials.  My career was over, for nothing.

Now my DD is a teen and like yours it’s all about her 24/7. She’s rude, salty in the mouth, uncooperative, and just so hard.  She fights with me constantly.  It turns me into someone I can’t stand to me.  The arguing, the discipline, the exhaustion.  I feel like she took my career, my livelihood, for what?  Yes, I’ve beem to therapy over this.  No, I don’t tell her these feelings.  Yes, I love her.  But it kills me a little each day what could have been.  And she has no clue. [/quote]

Give her to her Dad.  My mom has resented me for many years.  She always called me her oops baby (she was older/2nd child).  We barely have a relationship now.  Its pretty sad but she has no idea despite me, my husband and her boyfriend pointing out how she treats me and its even more sad what she has said to my kids so I have to limit their contact.  Think about your behavior toward her and maybe that is why she acts the way she does.  She didn't ruin your career.  She had health issues, doctor recommended pulling her out of child care, YOU choose to and now resent her.  I have a SN child.  I quit to care for her to daily therapies.  I cannot get my career back.  I have no regrets.  I have a great kid who still struggles slightly but happy and doing well.  It was my choice, just like it was yours.  You cannot blame your kids for your mistakes or choices.[/quote]

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